Carbon-Plated Edgerunner

Have you seen what happens to flesh when a machete slices through it? 
It's not a pleasant sight. I promise you. You'll never be quite the same. 
So, unless YOU want YOUR arm chopped off by some gonk in a back alley.. 
Might I suggest you invest in one of our premium Carbon-Plated Edgerunners?
 
With reflective silver for style and ease of Trauma Team SAR. 
So if the worst happens and they DO slice through your legs instead, since you didnt invest in some carbon-plated legs *sigh* at least they'll find you fast.