Duolayer Military Camo Shorts

Shorts. We all need them.
 
But boy do we ever look stupid with those corpse-white legs. Upper body supermodel tan. Lower body bright enough to cause a chain collision on the interstate. Ah. The joys.
 
At least when you buy our shorts, you'll blend in with the bushes when you're hiding from MaxTac after you've caused a sufficient number of mass casuality events. Good on you!