Ten7o H2s Plastic Shin-guard Shinos

Theres a wierd itch on your right asscheek. 
You have no clue why. 
Every single time you don these chemical hazard traps you get it. 
It feels great for the first hour. Then it just sneaks up on you. 
And BAM! Shit's ITCHY!
Always at the worst time also. Like fuck.
Cleaning up some hazardeous materials. 
Itch. Nothing you can do. It's like getting the shits.
In a board meeting. And you've just started.
And you cant leave. What the fuck do you do?
Shit your pants? Stick your acid dipped hands in and burn your flesh off?
PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME, I'M DYING OVER HERE!