XX Punch! Armor-Coated Hooded Bomber

Ever been the suspect in a crime you didnt commit? 
Well that's John's every day life. In this case he DID commit it. But normally, you know, he didnt.  Totally. If you're within a three block radius of a serious crime NCPD is knocking down your door day and night. 
They've probably seen your dong more than your misses the last month. 
 
At least with the armor coated bomber the batons don't hurt as much when they kidney shot you fifteen times to get you out of bed at 3 AM to check out some crime scene.