Samurai Combat Turtleneck
When you think you're a samurai.
But you're really just a slob.
That watch bad samurai flicks on the BD.
So we made a combat turtleneck for real mercs.
But we all know 98% of sales go to nobodies.
That will never see combat.
But hey. At least they'll look cool.
With out waist shrinking technology you'll go from a 9XL to a 7XL*
*Will cause organ failure over extended sessions of use out and about trying to look slim for the models you holler at.