Samurai Combat Turtleneck

When you think you're a samurai. 
But you're really just a slob.
That watch bad samurai flicks on the BD.
So we made a combat turtleneck for real mercs.
But we all know 98% of sales go to nobodies. 
That will never see combat.
But hey. At least they'll look cool. 
With out waist shrinking technology you'll go from a 9XL to a 7XL*
Worth iiiit. 
 
*Will cause organ failure over extended sessions of  use out and about trying to look slim for the models you holler at.